Friday, March 13, 2009

Circle of Friends

Like many people, my life can be separated into various chapters; family, childhood, high school, college, working, law school, professional life, marriage, parenting, and, in my case the world that I’ve become part of because of Maggie. Each of those chapters overlaps with some of the other, but each is separate and distinct in its own right. I am happy to say that I have circles of friends in each and while those circles overlap some, for the most part they too separate and distinct.

In the past 24 hours, I have had contact with someone from every one of those circles. That makes me feel rich indeed.

Today is a special day in several of these circles. My wonderful friend Deborah is celebrating her birthday today. We have been friends since my sophomore year in college in 1976. We were roommates for that bicentennial summer but other than that have never lived in the same city. We often joke that is the reason we have remained such close friends. Happy birthday Deb! Lori is someone I met in Maggie’s world. We have been friends for 13 years since her twins were babies. She is celebrating a resolution of an ongoing battle with her ex-husband and this Friday the 13th is a lucky day for her.

Tonight I will meet with three women I know from my professional life. This is my “club”. The “club” does not do anything, does not stand for anything, and does not meet very often. There are only four members but this “club” has been meeting for almost 25 years. When we started in the mid 80’s we all worked at the same law firm where I was an attorney, Pavan and Kathleen were paralegals and Anna was a secretary. Pavan went to law school shortly thereafter and has been an attorney for about 20 years now. We would get together for dinner every couple of months cooking elaborate dishes for one another. One by one, we left that firm, but we continued to meet regularly. As some of us had kids, the dinners got less and less elaborate, more infrequent, and finally we just met for drinks and appetizers. Sometimes we let others join us but it never really clicked with anyone else. We decided we were an exclusive club and membership was closed. We do allow guests periodically.

The club is coming to my house tonight. Steve is out of town and I cannot really leave Maggie alone with this nurse, so the girls are coming here. We are getting back to our roots, but it still will not be elaborate. There is one rule, no gossiping until all members are present. I hope no one is late. There could be an issue when my sons arrive home for the weekend. We have a strict “no boys” rule, though we have generally made an exception for offspring. In reality, I think the boys will be happy to make themselves scarce for an hour or so. GAH! Mom and her friends? No thanks!

Another group of people are those who disappeared when Maggie was born. I know some of that is just life and time and the changes that come with both. However, for some it was a choice to distance themselves from our situation; that is their loss. However, knowing they are out there makes me treasure even more the many circles of friends that I do have.

I feel very rich indeed.

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